Sunday, November 30, 2014

Jenny of All Trades



The phone rings in my sparse office
An old rotary
"Ring, ring"
I answer,"Marionette Repair Inc.
How may I direct your call?"

A lady with a soft raspy voice replies,
"I am so distraught. Can you help me?"
"Yes ma'am, I can. I make a living out of it.
Tell me what I can do for you.

"You see, I have an expensive marionette
My mother procured for me
And it is broken."

"Is it the strings, or the crossbars,
Or the marionette himself?

"How did you know it is a he?"

"Elementary my dear Watson.
You regard this as a business matter
Not a matter of the heart.
Were it a she marionette
One that a mama had procured for her daughter
You would've been crying,
Not speaking in hushed tones to a stranger
Who works out of a hovel in a dark alley
Across the tracks at the edge of town"

"Hmmm... I'm dealing with a lowlife eh?"

"Nope madam. Well perhaps yes,
If you consider marionette repair a lowly profession."

"Well, how can I get the marionette to you
So you can fix him?"

"Fix him? Are we talking neutering?
Well, for that, there's Hillary down the street.
I repair marionettes."

" Hehehehe .....Funny girl, he's wooden."

"They all are. Brethren of Pinochio.
I'm just the Blue Fairy, and I have Jiminy for an assistant."

"The marionette is broken. Fix him.
My men will deliver him to you in about eight days.
I trust you."

Click.

I look out the one sliver of glass high on the wall
That serves as a window in my little room
The sun is shining
The leaves on that tree outside
Throw pretty shadows on the ceiling
A patch of the bluest sky peeks into my dark quarters

The traffic hums along as usual
A clock ticks quietly and so does my heart
All's well with the world and yours truly

"Ring, ring," says the rotary

Something tells me
The caller isn't looking for a marionette repair service
Maybe it was Jiminy or a fellow fairykin
Who whispered in my ear,"Be careful."

I instinctively use my other identity
As I answer politely,
"Faberge Interiors Inc.
How may I direct your call?"

A concerned but polite soprano replies,
"Ah, yes, my wife would like some redecorating
Around the house and pool.
Can you help?"

"Sure," I say,"Your wish is my command.
We work seven days a week
We're fairies and elves
Who do your bidding.
We take no breaks for sleep or leisure or food."

"Well," he says, embarrassed  and confused,
"All I had in mind was a little splurge for
A little more class in the living room
A little more comfort in the dining room
And better conversation in the master bedroom.
Can you arrange a makeover?"

"Geez geezer, who do you think I am?
Aladin's genie?
Only he can give you a castle and throw in a princess for free.
I work solely to decorate your space.
I love beautifying bare walls
And artfully cluttering lonely shelving systems.
That's my forte."

"Name your price."

"For that we must work on the square footage
 and styles of fabric, paint, wood, tile..."

"No wait, it's the ambience I crave.
I've seen your blog.
Give me your best.
I love the sparseness of your Lincoln collection
And the richness of your French collection
Also the grandeur of your Arthur collection
Can you give me your all?"

"We're talking major commitment here.
Let's see. I'm busy until February
Then there's the Pixie convention I go to every year
I can start in March"
 
"No darlin' you don't understand.
I want it now."

"Let me see.
There's a lady sending over
her broken marionette this week."

"(Gulp) ...Er, yes, that, oh,
Perhaps you didn't know.
That was my wife."


"Haaaa haaaaa haaa haaaa...
I see what is going on here.
I've dealt with crazy before
But this is the funniest crazy I've ever seen.
I will be awfully busy the next few months.
Call me when you've made some progress on your own.
Redecorating isn't rocket science.
You just have to become a real boy first.
And your masterminder is another story.
I wish you luck until we meet again."

Click

It's time  again to take the trash out
To get the mail in
To walk the dog
To toss out the kitty litter
To boil the potatoes
To go on with life ....                   


                                                                                            ~  Sonali